The Probability of Miracles by Wendy Wunder

I'm just going to open up with this book's eerie similarities to The Fault in our Stars, by John Green, because there's no way of avoiding them.

Main character is a teenage girl with terminal cancer who feels trapped between life and death, between childhood and adulthood? Check. Completely perfect in every way male character whose name starts with an "A"? Check. Organization that grants a wish to terminal cancer patients? Check. Weird, girly best friend with boyfriend issues? Check. Cars that have names? Check.

Moving on....

This book is, in a word fabulous. In two words, fabulously heartbreaking.

As previously mentioned, the main character (Cam) is a teenage girl who has terminal cancer. Her father died from cancer, and her mother had a one night stand resulting in Cam's half sister (who is also her polar opposite) They all live in Disney World and work as Samoan dancers.

Her mother and sister believe in miracles, and they completely believe that Cam (who, for the third time now, has terminal cancer) will get better. They move for the summer to a little town named Promise in Maine, where miracles supposedly happen. Along the way they learn new things that will change their lives forever!

Examples of miracles: Flamingos in Maine. Sunsets that last foreverish. Unicorns. Glow in the dark seawater. Canaries that come back.

I'm now going to use the completely cliched hill metaphor.

This book has a slow, somewhat confusing beginning, but climbs a steepening hill to greatness. The beautifully witty writing, hilarious dialogue, everything builds this book towards a cliched, predictable, but satisfying ending involving Harvard, Boston College, remission, and perfection in the shape of a human boy.

WHY COULDN'T YOU SETTLE FOR THE PREDICTABLE ENDING, WENDY WUNDER? WHY???

Instead, right as our Sled of Readerhood (yes, I added a sled to the metaphor) is teetering on the summit of warm and fuzzy perfection, Wendy Wunder detonates the dynamite that she has artfully buried into the cliffs of the mountain-novel (DAMN YOU WENDY WUNDER!) shattering all predictability, and leaving the fragments of the Sled of Readerhood in tears.

But I guess it was kind of a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't deal for Wendy Wunder (let's just say it: most fabulous name in anywhere ever). Either she breaks the reader's heart, or she is accused of unrealistic endings. I think she chose the better of two evils. *sob*

The Talk Funny Girl by Roland Merullo

Considering this book had one of the most interesting plots I've ever heard, it was incredibly, incredibly boring.

Marjorie, aka Majie, aka Laney, lives in super super rural New England. Her dad and mom are very religious, following Pastor Schect as if his word is law. I guess, to them, it is. They have so far isolated themselves from society that they have their own dialect of English. (They basically insert a preposition in between every word.)

Marjorie gets a job being a stone-mason to try and bring in money. Meanwhile she accidentally (or is it all planned?) dredges up some secrets about her and her family's past.

These aren't secrets like "your mom had a divorce way back when".
These are secrets like "your aunt had an illegitimate child with a Jamaican man who later died in a bus accident. Not even her own stepsister (aka your mother) knew about him, and, oh, btw, he is your boss. And he is in love with you. And he was molested by his pastor as a child."
Or: "your dad enjoys dismembering people with a chainsaw."

And yet... this book still manages to be boring.

The story moves along in the same way an eight year old moves along when she's on her way to bed.

Slowly, haltingly, in a barely perceptible way.

Call me sick, but the only good parts of this book were the parts where more and more disgustingly horrible details are revealed about the cult that her parents are part of.

Ex: (SPOILER) when Majie is brought to the front of the church and gets a bag put over her head. And then everyone takes turns punching her in the face.

Or when you find out that a form of punishment is tying a child to a tree and leaving them there for around twelve hours with no food and no way to sit down.

Those parts are the interesting parts. The rest is.... meh.

Also there was the creep-tastic romance going on between Majie/ Laney (sorry for all the names, she has three in the book) and Sands. Who is her cousin. Step-cousin, but still. He mentions a lot how they aren't actually related by blood, but still. It is just really, really icky. AND he's six years older than her.

Plus it honestly didn't seem believable. There was never an epiphany for Laney when she realizes that she is in love with him. The book kind of hints at it and then twenty or so pages later, oh, look, they live together. And oh, now they're married.

The writing never showed any chemistry between them.

That way mainly what this book was missing. Passion. Emotion. You'd think there'd be a lot of it, given the plot, but the writing was kind of... muted. Lacking. I was half-way through the book and I thought I was still just getting background info, because that's the way it reads, almost as if the story is a recap of itself.

The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

I read Will Grayson, Will Grayson a while back, and while I had read all of John Green's books, I had read none of David Levithan's. (They co-wrote Will Grayson, Will Grayson)

So I picked up The Lover's Dictionary.

It's written in letter format (The narrator addresses another character as 'you' throughout the novel) and there are several words for each letter. For example, ethereal, celibacy, ineffable, catharsis, you get the idea. Each word is accompanied with a couple of sentences (sometimes one, sometimes twenty) that relate to the word. And the alphabet is rewritten in terms of love.

Here's a thing about me: I hate ambiguous anything in books. Especially endings. I like to be told exactly what happens, with nothing left open ended. (That's the only flaw in John Green books. Terribly, terribly vague endings.)

So, while The Lover's Dictionary was beautifully written and smart and witty, I couldn't stop thinking "When the hell are we going to get more information about these characters??" You don't find out names, appearances, ages. Is the relationship between 15 year olds or 35 year olds? Is the non-narrator attractive or not? What about the narrator? You don't even know if it's a gay relationship or a straight one. (You do know that the narrator is a boy)

I understand that that is supposed to be the point of the book, that you can mold it to fit any of the relationships you've had. And I'm sure it was difficult to write it in a way that would keep the reader's interest (which it did) with out giving away anything, and David Levithan did it skillfully. There is something beautiful in the simplicity of it all. Kind of like a perfectly clear, shiny, empty wineglass (oooh artsy metaphor). But there's that little voice in my head saying "Names! Ages! Genders!".

The Summer Series by Jenny Han

I went to the beach over spring break and read these books there. I admit, I  had high standards because as I was checking them out, this girl said "Those are the best books I've read this year! Well, tied with the Hunger Games." Obviously, I thought they would be fabulous.

Nope.

Summary: The heroine, Belly, and her brother and mom go to a beach house every summer that is owned by Susannah, who has cancer, and her two (super hot) sons, Conrad and Jeremiah. Belly always tags along with her older brother and the two older boys, and always feels left out. As she grows up and "blossoms" she realized she is in love with one of the boys... but which one??

The books are written almost poetically. They're very philosophical and the book spends a lot more time dealing with the characters unspoken emotions than with any action or dialogue. Sometimes in books, this is a good thing. But I don't think the characters are complex or deep enough to make these books interesting. The trilogy is a love triangle. Nothing more, nothing less.

The characters aren't likable at all. Conrad is essentially an attractive asshole. He never shows his emotions and doesn't try and get close to anyone. Jeremiah is a goofball with no substance. And Belly is an indecisive, obnoxious teenager, who has no idea what she wants and yet makes irrational commitments. (Like GETTING MARRIED when she's NINETEEN.) Jenny Han grazes over explanations for these character traits (like the boys' relationship with their father) but she never reveals enough to make the reader care.

Just when I would feel myself getting lost in the beautiful writing, I would remember how completely ludicrous the plot was. How does Belly end up at the same college as her lifelong best friend and boyfriend of two years? Susannah has terminal cancer and still goes to a remote beach house over the summer? For several months? Belly leaves a Jeremiah at the altar, and five years later marries his brother, and Jeremiah shows up at the wedding? How forgiving can he possibly be?

Also, there were a lot of weird similarities to Twilight. I'm not saying one ripped of the other, but the main character is a brown-haired teenager named Belly/ Bella, who is in love with two guys at once: a broodingly handsome mysterious one (Conrad/ Edward) and a fun, younger one (Jeremiah/ Jacob). Hmmm...

Finally, the ending was far too perfect. Aside from the aforementioned way-too-easily-forgiven-brother-situation, Jenny Han flies through Conrad and Belly's romance in about two pages. Conrad hurt Belly over and over and over again (breaking up with her on prom night, telling her she means nothing to him, leading her on for several months) and he sends her a couple of "hand-written" letters and all is forgiven? I'm pretty sure that's not how things work out in real life.

For an un-interesting book with gaping holes in the plot, Jenny Han did a great job with the actual writing. If she comes up with a decent, or even average idea, instead of a terrible one, Jenny Han could definitely write a great book. (Actually, she already did: Shug)